Saturday, April 01, 2006

Ague Potion

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Here's a potion for the colds, flus, and agues that come in the change of seasons. Not only does it work, but it soothes your throat and gets you tipsy enough for sleep. The original recipe was from a friend I used to have in New Jersey who is a chef from Provence. My dog used to bark at him because he had a beard. Then one day he brought her filet from his restaurant, and then she drooled whenever she saw him. Me, my then gf, him, and his wife were all good friends until his wife went psycho. Even though I met them through my then girlfriend, and I really don't care about anyone's weight, and I'm gay, his wife decided that I was making fun of her weight and I was out to steal her husband. I got him running and he taught me how to make a great caesar dressing. I still have a picture of me and then-gf holding their first child. I painted a little chair for this child with the man in the moon and stars on it. I take his wife's psychosis as a sign that I was once beautiful, which I was then. The dog is dead now and the relationship with then-gf long over, but I'm glad I have the potion, and the caesar dressing, and my gf now. She has added garlic, hates the lemon, and always, always drinks the whiskey.

POTION

boiling water
lemon juice from a lemon
honey
cloves
cayenne
fresh ginger
tea, preferably echinacea, gypsy cold care, or both
cinnamon
2 shots whiskey (bourbon, Jameson, etc.)
several chopped cloves of garlic (my current gf's addition)

Boil water, cayenne, cloves, garlic, ginger, and cinnamon until you feel it has all steeped in--5 min or so. Pour over tea bags in a mug, straining out garlic chunks and cloves (if you want). Add lemon juice, honey, and whiskey. Stir and drink while hot.

The cayenne helps burn out the cold, and along with the ginger is good for intestinal distress; the garlic is good for resistance, the honey and cloves help a sore throat, the lemon has lots of vitamin C, the cinnamon makes it spicy good, and the whiskey is god's gift to man. I swear you will feel better and sleep real good, or at least soothe your throat, quiet your stomach, and get a good buzz. GF swears by my potion. Feel better.

5 comments:

dr. m(mmm) aka The Notorious P.H.D. said...

That crazy ex-wife person would make a great character in a novel.

I hope not to get sick any more, but I'll keep the recipe just in case.

lil'rumpus said...

That potion sounds brilliant! Do I have to wait to be sick to try some???

Winter said...

How much cayenne do you recommend?

No offense to your gf, but I think I might leave the garlic out.

Dr Big Mama Woo said...

Here's what I'm wondering, though: Why should anyone want to feel better? What's wrong with feeling lousy, or so-so, or ehhh?

Sure, go ahead and chug some whiskey, what the hell. But why get all voodoo on yourself and spend time and money concocting some goofy potion? Leave the "better" propaganda in the marketplace, where it belong$, and just feel like whatever you feel like, yeah?

Limbic said...

dr bigmaw, I don't want to feel lousy right now. Teaching and writing with phlegm for cerebral spinal fluid is no fun without the curative powers of my grandmother's doting ways...infusions of matzo ball soup. I think I'll hunker down until my scheduled weekend coma.